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Penn State and others- a Battle Cry for Child Safety...
Which institution, organization or church is richer and a greater credit to its community?
A.
One that is notified of a sexual assault, fails to notify authorities and decides not to talk, discuss or report it beyond a small but powerful circle (therefore preventing a scandal, embarrassment or blemish to the institutions name) creating a haven for the predator(s) to amass even more victims
or
B.
One that is notified of a sexual assault, alerts authorities, interviews witnesses, focuses on the well being of a child, and operates a zero tolerance policy.
Cast Your Vote!
Happy New Year
It's been a moment since my last article as we've been very busy with our prevention campaign. Thanks to all of you who support this bog site, we appreciate your interest and feedback. I must say that we have a lot of good work ahead of us. However, I am encouraged on a daily basis by the "Thank Yous" and "Keep it up" accolades from those who find the work that we do beneficial. With each passing day, we have the ability to positively impact another family, another household another child or children. Someone recently said to me that children represent 1/3 of our population and 100% of our future. That's a pretty powerful statement and is cause for ponder as it brings to realization the tremendous responsibility we have as adults. If you believe that statement, what would you do differently with the children who are in your sphere? It makes me want to teach, train, listen and guide children in all things possible. It also fuels me to continue to educate, motivate and inspire children, families and communities to take proactive action focused on keeping children safe and empowered. Today I am doing that. Details to follow....
Red Flags
When a child is born, on it rest the hopes and dreams of a family. A family where love, legacies, new opportunities and chances for hope can begin. How is it then that organizations that are built on the backs of the people who have hopes and dreams, can put the reputation of the organization ahead of the people they serve?
When allegations arise around abuse, the first step is denial, and then steps are taken by many to preserve the perceived status of the institution. What about the child or children whose lives have just been turned upside down, whose dreams may be deferred if ever reached at all now? In this day and age, I would much rather see all institutions leading from the front by being the first to report the alleged incidents to the proper authorities (police or cps) while immediately getting help and emotional support for the alleged victim.
Predators are very skilled at not only grooming the children but adults as well. Hence, statements like " I don't believe he or she did this" are often crafted by other adults who have been tricked.
When we value children, incidences of abuse/neglect can and will begin to diminish.
Some Red Flags to memorize to minimize incidences of sexual abuse and maximize the value of a child:
I - Believe a child when they tell you that something is wrong. Children don't make this stuff up.
2 - Never neglect a child by leaving him or her alone or with a male adolescent or adult just because its convenient
3 - Beware of anyone who wants to spend more time with your child than you do and who agrees to babysit for free to gain access
4 - Beware of anyone who takes a child places, or bestows gifts or special attention to a child
5 - Make sure organizations that cater to children, have a safety plan in place that minimizes opportunities for abuse.
Get a copy of the plan. Read it! If no such plan exist, please choose an organization that has a plan. It's that important!
It is better to be safe than sorry. Trust your Gut. Be Aware, Be Present, Be Prepared, and Believe. C.A.K.E! has outlined Seven (7) actions you can take to keep children safe: Safety Pledge
When allegations arise around abuse, the first step is denial, and then steps are taken by many to preserve the perceived status of the institution. What about the child or children whose lives have just been turned upside down, whose dreams may be deferred if ever reached at all now? In this day and age, I would much rather see all institutions leading from the front by being the first to report the alleged incidents to the proper authorities (police or cps) while immediately getting help and emotional support for the alleged victim.
Predators are very skilled at not only grooming the children but adults as well. Hence, statements like " I don't believe he or she did this" are often crafted by other adults who have been tricked.
When we value children, incidences of abuse/neglect can and will begin to diminish.
Some Red Flags to memorize to minimize incidences of sexual abuse and maximize the value of a child:
I - Believe a child when they tell you that something is wrong. Children don't make this stuff up.
2 - Never neglect a child by leaving him or her alone or with a male adolescent or adult just because its convenient
3 - Beware of anyone who wants to spend more time with your child than you do and who agrees to babysit for free to gain access
4 - Beware of anyone who takes a child places, or bestows gifts or special attention to a child
5 - Make sure organizations that cater to children, have a safety plan in place that minimizes opportunities for abuse.
Get a copy of the plan. Read it! If no such plan exist, please choose an organization that has a plan. It's that important!
It is better to be safe than sorry. Trust your Gut. Be Aware, Be Present, Be Prepared, and Believe. C.A.K.E! has outlined Seven (7) actions you can take to keep children safe: Safety Pledge
Dallas hotel bathroom
From time to time, when discussing the subject of child sexual abuse within a group, i encounter someone who feels that this is a family matter best left within the confines of a family. I see a society paralyzed by this belief. When matters like these are left unaddressed, and children unprotected, it then becomes a societal matter. When did it become O.K. to knowingly allow children to be subjected to such abuse and neglect. This entry is in response to the article appearing in the Dallas Morning News recently regarding the couple who kept their children in the Dallas hotel bathroom for months- while allowing the father to sexually abuse the little girl who is now 11 years old.
See article: bit.ly/bbdBsH
Kudos to the uncle for acting "courageously". It took courage to put the child(rens) welfare above his own. Unfortunately, there are too many children being subjected to this type of abuse and neglect even as I type this note. It's up to each of us to blow the whistle and act courageously to save our own nieces, nephews, children and grandchildren. We are not the judge and/or jury and rather then get all twisted up in that we should instead, pay attention and have the courage to ACT when we see or suspect that something is wrong.
See article: bit.ly/bbdBsH
Kudos to the uncle for acting "courageously". It took courage to put the child(rens) welfare above his own. Unfortunately, there are too many children being subjected to this type of abuse and neglect even as I type this note. It's up to each of us to blow the whistle and act courageously to save our own nieces, nephews, children and grandchildren. We are not the judge and/or jury and rather then get all twisted up in that we should instead, pay attention and have the courage to ACT when we see or suspect that something is wrong.
Family Matters
From time to time, when discussing the subject of child sexual abuse within a group, i encounter someone who feels that this is a family matter best left within the confines of a family. I see a society paralyzed by the belief that this is merely a family matter. When matters like these are left unaddressed, and children unprotected, it then becomes a societal matter. When did it become O.K. to knowingly allow children to be subjected to such abuse and neglect. This entry is in response to the article appearing in the Dallas Morning News recently regarding the couple who kept their children in the Dallas hotel bathroom for months- while allowing the father to sexually abuse the little girl who is now 11 years old.
See article: bit.ly/bbdBsH />
Kudos to the uncle for acting "courageously". It took courage to
put the child(rens) welfare above his own. Unfortunately, there are too
many children being subjected to this type of abuse and neglect even as
I type this note. It's up to each of us to blow the whistle and act
courageously to save our own nieces, nephews, children and
grandchildren. We are not the judge and/or jury and rather then get all twisted up in that we should instead, pay attention and have the courage to ACT when
we see or suspect that something is wrong.
See article: bit.ly/bbdBsH
Be courageous - save a life - "Turn In a Child Molester" today.
True or False: Molesters know their victims and are able to carry out their manipulation (grooming) because they are trusted and even admired by their victims.
Oprah's show and why you should "turn in" child molesters
The Oprah show featured an episode where Oprah interviewed four (4) convicted child molesters. These individuals candidly answered questions we all wish we could ask. The interview was insightful on many levels for parents, guardians and even children who are going through sexual abuse or molestation as you read this. Below are a few of the excerpts from the viewing.
The answer to the question above is "True" and "Grooming" is the act of preparing (setting up) a child for rape, molestation or abuse)
Perpetrator "Warning Signs"
- Perpetrators pay more attention to children than to adults.
- Perpetrators look for children who are neglected or needy and or who innocently give love to those who pay attention to them. This leaves the door open for manipulation and grooming.
- Perpetrators also look for children who are angry, or looking for retaliiation against you, the parent. The child is not thinking straight and this can make them prime for manipulation.
- Perpetrators work hard to build trust with children and the family (this looks like empathy, sympathy, consoling). They make their victims feel comfortable with their touch, a hand on the shoulder or a hug, winning the childs trust over time.
- Trust your instincts or guts. If you feel uncomfortable, act!
- Be alert! Pay attention. Avoid letting your kid get to friendly with men..ie sitting on their laps or hugging on them, etc.
- Most kids won't say anything, because their perpetrator has a way of making them feel guilty or that they will be the cause for the family arguments or even breakup. Some perpetrator may even threaten the child or their family.
- While you think your kid will tell you, the reality is that they often times will not, even when asked repeatedly
- Listen to children. When a child does say they've been abused, trust them, they don't make stuff like that up.
Turn in, anyone you know who is a child sexual perpetrator. Why? Because doing so, will increase the likelihood of getting the molester the help they need, but most importantly it will save your child's life.
Mackenzie Phillips
There are just under 7 billion people in the world (307 million in the U.S). Also note that about one quarter of them are children. Ever stop and think that one-third of the world adult population thinks that sex with a child is acceptable. Perhaps another third of the population, who even knew of Mackenzie, are upset and/or angry at her for defaming her famous father for their alleged incestuous relationship. The last third see her pain and offer support. Think about this; in this case it may mean that two-thirds of the population will have no "real" interest in Mackenzie's pain and I think that this is a travesty. Let's give a shout out to all the famous & not so famous survivors who are voicing their pain. Lets also remember those who did not survivor their ordeal because of drug overdoses, alcoholism or other things. Famous or not, child sexual abuse or assault affects a multitude of people. Most children are innocent and emotionally immature to deal with all the emotions surrounding the experience. By speaking up & out we shed light on the subject and can then move toward prevention. Thanks for sharing: Mackenzie, Greg LeMond, Queen Latifah, Monique, Gabrielle Union, Oprah and those we have yet to hear from to name a few.
Jacey Dugard
Our prayers go out to Jaycee Dugard and her family, as healing takes place in the midst of a media frenzy. This tragic event which took place 18 years ago, will forever impact her immediate family (daughters, mother and stepfather) and other family and friends. What happens to the perpetrators still remains to be seen. However, my focus is on the family and the journey they will now take to bring closure in an attempt to live a life free from pain, guilt and/or shame. It's reported that the father of Phillip Garrido told AP that his son is “absolutely out of his mind.” I urge all of us to take action if we see tendencies in our children or teens that are severally abnormal, creepy, weird or sexually inappropriate . Simply ignoring the child and or the behavior is not an option. We know that children do grow up and can take on more aggressive deviant behaviors like those being reported of the Garridos. Children do not exist for the sexual pleasure of others. If you suspect wrongdoing, SPEAK UP and ACT (get involved) and seek help for that person. Your actions, can ultimately save a child's life.
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